July Blog

This month we will discuss:

  • I’m Afraid of the Bathroom
  • Quotes
  • Chesapeake News

I’m Afraid of the Bathroom

“Mom, I do not drink any water while at school as I am afraid I will need to go to the bathroom.”

This is a conversation between a first-grade girl who attends Matthews Elementary School in Northport, Alabama and her mother.  Currently the ceiling is falling down in the upstairs girl’s bathroom; one of many ongoing problems with regard to maintenance and general upkeep of the facility.

Most of the kids that attend Matthews are poor, predominately black and Hispanic.  I am part of a small group at the Church of the Highlands where we address racial harmony.  There are about 30 guys on our roster close to half white and half black and we have been meeting since February of 2021.  We began with a study of my book, “Don’t Do Anything Stupid—a White Man’s Guide to Racial Harmony.”  For the last several years we have done our best to adopt Matthews and do what we can as volunteers and advocates, including attending county school board meetings.

In last year’s budget not one dime was spent at Matthews where $20 million was spent to enhance the football field/facilities at a predominately white school.  Some of our group attended the school board meeting and spoke to the board on the issue.

Some might suggest that the school board is racist and that it reflects the area.  However, that is not true or perhaps it depends on how you define racism.  I was impressed with the quality of the board.  They all seemed to be dedicated to their jobs and were taken back and shaken somewhat when faced with the facts on expenditures.  So what’s the problem –and there is a problem?

Unlike other races in the United States, white people do not place a high priority on their race (or yours for that matter).  Randomly ask a white person to tell you about themselves.  In their answer they may never mention that they are white and if they do it is way down in the pecking order.  Ask someone of another ethnicity the same question and race will probably show up in the first five items.  This is something our small group “discovered” and I thought we were all pretty smart.  That was until recently when I learned that someone beat us to the study.

I am 100% confident that every member of that school board would be appalled to know that any child in the county was afraid to go to the bathroom.  However, in order to sense that fear one needs to be aware and notice that things like this exist.  I plan to write a lot more on this in the future.  White folks need to be more aware and empathetic.  My wife Linda has been telling me that I needed to listen more for over 50 years.  There is a remote possibility that she has been right all of these years.  Word for the month; awareness.  Stop, listen, feel and be aware of what is going on around you.


  1. Who loves me, loves my dog. French proverb
  2. I never can quite get away from the habit of slipping myself into a dog’s skin and trying to see the thing as a dog sees it. Henri Vibert
  3. All a true dog asks of life is some human being to love and the reciprocating confidence of a single mortal. Walter Dyer
  4. Your dog is the champion of them all because he is your dog. The Dog Fancier Magazine
  5. What is the greatest trait in the world? It is what a man sometimes has and a dog always has, namely, Loyalty.  Thomas Masson
  6. The bond with a true dog is as lasting as the ties of this earth can ever be. Konrad Lorenz
  7. Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole. Roger Caras
  8. The dog’s finer qualities can’t be praised too warmly; there is a purity about his devotion which makes mere men feel speechless. Clarence Day
  9. One reason a dog can be such a comfort when you’re feeling blue is that he doesn’t try to find out why. Unknown
  10. Nothing but love has made the dog lose his wild freedom, to become the servant of man. H. Lawrence

Chesapeake News:

I hope you enjoyed the dog related quotes this month.  One month per year I plan to have nothing but dog quotes.  Someone mentioned that we should also have cat quotes but I quickly reminded them that this newsletter needs to be kept at PG 13 or better.

We will have our first free Leadership Development Introduction session on July 14th.  These sessions will start at noon and go about an hour.  We will be doing them at the Gateway in Alberta City.  To start with we have booked four dates:

  • July 14
  • August 11
  • September 8
  • October 13

This hour-long overview is the same we give to our executive clients; and it is for free.  We will put a limit on the number of attendees as we want to maintain a small intimate class for lots of interaction.  The Gateway is a wonderful facility with plenty of parking.

We are doing these sessions as a public service to many who would never have this type of opportunity.  We would love for you to take advantage of this opportunity.