June Blog

This month we will discuss:

  • Be nice to yourself
  • Quotes
  • Chesapeake Consulting/Foundation News

Be Nice to Yourself:

Over the last several weeks three people that I know or who are connected to our family have died.  One man, a cousin of my wife Linda, I never knew.  He was a little older than me, served in Vietnam in the Marines, and was a successful manager in manufacturing living in Reidsville, NC.  He died of Lou Gehrig’s disease.  Another was a former police chief who did prison ministry as a volunteer at the Church of the Highlands.  “Chief” and I spent many an evening at Bibb County Correctional Facility in a small group study with inmates.  He always told the inmates he got his “chief” nickname from the military.  He did not think it was a good idea that they knew he was a former chief of police.  Last week he was found dead in his apartment, no additional knowledge at this time.

However, the one that bothers me the most is a friend my age, who as his family said, “We lost him to depression.”  He had taken his own life.  From the outside looking in, he had accomplished great deeds, had everything a man could desire, and was living just about as perfect a life as you can imagine.  However, obviously, that was not his view of his status.

Eighty-five percent of all suicides are men and the number one reason is a shame.

We are all going to die and according to the adage we are also going to pay taxes – well most of us are.  Does it matter how you die?  It is probably not going to matter to you but it will matter to those you leave behind.

Today I talked with someone who was related to my friend.  He was as shocked as I was when he heard the news.  Our friend had times of the year when he seemed melancholy and other times of the year, he seemed elated.  Evidently, it was the same pattern every year.  This year it was too severe, and he embraced a severe response to his feelings.  I have heard people refer to suicide as a permanent resolution to a temporary problem.  Suicide and mental health issues are not pleasant topics – especially among men.  I have heard women brag about going to see their therapist.  Not so with men.  For men, it is a taboo subject and perceived by many as a sign of weakness.  Please, please understand – it’s not.

So why is this a topic for a newsletter that is supposed to talk about leadership?  As a boss and/or a leader it is about relationships and taking care of those in your sphere of influence.  It is a call to slow down, stop, look around you and be aware.  Is there someone in your sphere of influence that is not up to snuff?  Are you providing an environment where they can come to you?  Have you thought ahead of what resources you are going to call on to help?  We cannot do anything about the disease, accidents, and most of the ways folks leave the planet.  However, perhaps we can be a spark or a light or a resource for someone who has natural time to spend and could spend it doing more good.

If this is an oddball newsletter and has not added value for you, I apologize and promise to try and do better next time.


  1. Only passions, great passions can elevate the soul to great things. Dennis Diderol
  2. The great virtue of man lies in his ability to correct his mistakes and to continually make a new man of himself.  Wang Yang-Ming
  3. Liberty is the breath of life to nations.  George Bernard Shaw
  4. There are no mistakes. The events we bring upon ourselves no matter how unpleasant, are necessary in order to learn what we need to learn; whatever steps we take, they’re necessary to reach the places we’ve chosen to go.  Richard Bach
  5. When you make a mistake, don’t look back long. Take the reason of the things into your mind, and then look forward. Mistakes are lessons of wisdom. The past cannot be changed. The future is yet in your power.  Hugh White
  6. Adversity is another way to measure the greatness of individuals. I never had a crisis that didn’t make me stronger.  Lou Holtz
  7. The harder the conflict, the more glorious the triumph. What we obtain too cheaply, we esteem too lightly; ‘tis dearness only that gives everything its value. Thomas Paine
  8. Things are in their essence what we choose to make them. A thing is, according to the mode in which one looks at it.  Oscar Wilde
  9. A sense of humor can help you overlook the unattractive, tolerate the unpleasant, cope with the unexpected, and smile through the unbearable. Moshe Waldoks
  10. A sense of humor judges one’s actions and the actions of others from a wider reference… it pardons shortcomings; it consoles failure. It recommends moderation. Thornton Wilder
  11. Provision for others is a fundamental responsibility of human life.  Woodrow Wilson
  12. Maturity begins to grow when you can sense your concern for others outweighing your concern for yourself.  John MacNaughton
  13. The greatest good you can do for another is not just to share your riches, but to reveal to him his own.  Benjamin Disraeli
  14. Sharing what you have is more important than what you have.  Albert Wells
  15. Character may be manifested in the great moments, but it is made in the small ones.  Phillip Brooks
  16. Remember that happiness is a way of travel, not a destination.  Roy Goodman
  17. Forgiveness does not change the past, but it does enlarge the future.  Paul Boese
  18. There is nothing you can do to earn your way into heaven. God is perfect, and when we return to God, we shall be perfected in God’s love…Our reunion with God is assured by God’s mercy, not by any state of holiness or grace that we can achieve on our own.  Christopher Maricle
  19. When we are in touch with pain in the world, we increase our opportunities to serve others.  Amy Wilson
  20. We do not see nature with our eyes, but with our understandings and our hearts.  William Hazlitt
  21. Look deep into nature and then you will understand everything better.  Albert Einstein

Chesapeake News:

We completed our third “Community Unity” event at the McDonald Hughes Center in June.  When we started these events last year, we wanted to make sure the community knew we would not just show up one time and then leave.  We are now going to assess where we go from here with these events.  We are so appreciative of our partners in this endeavor, PARA, Alabama One, Jalapeños, and Buffalo Rock.

We are fully engaged in our project to work with the Tuscaloosa County Sheriff’s Office to improve conditions at the Tuscaloosa County jail.  We will provide behavioral assessments and consulting to most who ask us; however, our passion and focus is law enforcement and corrections.  We want to “make a difference” in the arena of public safety.