This month we will address:
- The last three attributes of character.
- Chesapeake News.
Relations are the key to culture part 3:
This month we will work on the last three attributes of good character; faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. The other two blogs on the topic of improving your character are on our website www.chesapeakeconsultinginc.com .
I choose to be faithful towards my friends who are different than me. Last year one of my friends and I were talking about my new book, “Don’t Do Anything Stupid – A White Man’s Guide to Racial Harmony.” He is one of my black friends and was laughing about some of his white friends that like to claim they have lots black friends. He said what goes through his mind is, “When was the last time you did anything socially with them?” When was the last time they were at your house or that you and your spouse went to dinner with them? We are going to bring up one of my favorite words again – intentionality. Society is perfectly set up for us NOT to socialize and to get to know one another better. Sunday is the most segregated day of the week so it is seldom that we worship with one another and engage in social or service activities that would be an offshoot of church life. We obviously do not have family in common. Faithfulness requires that we faithfully try to connect and include one another in activities. Make a list of your friends that are different than you. What can you do about getting together with people that are different than you that will enhance the relationship?
I choose to be gentle towards all people, yet simultaneously bold in building them up through a loving correction. I think one of the best examples of “gentleness” is the prophet Nathan in the Bible. His king, David, had an affair with the wife of one of his solders, tried to cover it up and when the cover up did not work, he had his solder murdered. Some nasty behavior. God had given Nathan the assignment to hold David accountable. Good grief – how would you like that assignment? When I look at the character attribute of gentleness, I always think of the issue of having to deliver bad news
- something that someone does not want to hear. Are you open with your friends that are unlike you? If they need rebuking for some sort of poor behavior or something that they are failing to do, how do you handle it? Many times, it is simple to just ignore the issue – perhaps it will go away or someone else will handle it for you. If your friend is of a different race than you, are you less likely to be bold and open or do you back off for fear of offending them? The way Nathan handled to situation was he told David a parable about a rich man who had lots of sheep taking a poor man’s only lamb and killing it for a house guest to eat. David got angry and said that the person who did that should be severely punished. Nathan then told David that he, David, was that person. Delivering
bad news or criticism can be tough. I suggest taking some time and planning what you are going to say – and be gentle.
I choose self-control regarding how I address race relations. If you are with your white friends and someone makes an insensitive racial comment, do you have enough self- control to do the right thing? Or do you shy away in fear of being “that guy” to your white friends? What about your own comments? Your social media posts? Do you forward posts that might serve to offend someone else? If we have strong beliefs about a topic, many times it is difficult not to react when someone says something we disagree with.
In summary of the last three blogs here is thought process:
- Everything happens within a culture. It is like the soil in which you want to grow fruit or vegetables. In order to grow relationships, you must have good soil or culture.
- Leadership is the key impact of culture. It determines the quality of the soil.
- You improve leadership by increasing/improving what you know (your intuition) and improving who you are (your character).
- It is that simple.
Improving who you are and what you know are choices. Go be intentional, make the good choices and make a difference!! It matters to all of those around you – and also to you.
- Everything begins with a decision. Then, you have to manage that decision the rest of your life. John Maxwell
- But Elijah said to her, “Don’t be afraid! Go ahead and do what you’ve said but make a little bread for me first. Then use what’s left to prepare a meal for yourself and your son.” 1 Kings 17:13 – i.e., obey the Lord first then comes the reward and/or consequences.
- We were never designed for the sedentary, indoor, socially isolated, fast-food laden, sleep-deprived, frenzied pace of modern life. Stephen Llardo
- Comparison is the thief of joy. Theodore Roosevelt
- A successful person finds the right place for themselves. But a successful leader finds the right place for others. John Maxwell.
- 95% of your emotions are determined by the way you talk to yourself. Brian Tracy.
- The pessimist complains bout the wind. The optimist expects it to change. The leader adjusts the sails.
- I have known many dogs and have many a story I could tell you of their wisdom and devotion. John Muir
- Most people have a desire to look for the exception instead of the desire to become exceptional. John Maxwell
- If I don’t prioritize my life, someone else will.
- We look for dynamic, but God is in the intimate.
- No one can make you feel inferior without your consent. Elenore Roosevelt
- People have enough to live by but nothing to live for; for they have the means but no meaning. Viktor Franki
- Look closely at the closest associations in your life, for that is the direction you are headed. Kevin Eikenberry
- Wounds don’t make you weak, they make you a warrior. Chris Hodges
Chesapeake Consulting News:
Our President, Leigh Covington, is the speaker this week at a dental convention. If you are looking for a speaker for an event, please give us a shout.
Starting in July, I will be giving a session on how to improve your business with a large focus on The Theory of Constraints. Sessions will be two hours each on the second Friday of each month, at our offices and the cost is $500 per person per session.
On July 21st Chesapeake is sponsoring a community event at the McDonald Hughes Community Center in Tuscaloosa’s West End. We will be providing high end leadership development workshops like what CEO’s and executives normally would receive. There will be no cost for admittance. Partnering with Chesapeake Consulting will be Shelton State Community College, the West Alabama Chamber of Commerce, the Tuscaloosa County Sheriff’s department and perhaps more law enforcement. If you would like to be part of this effort, please Dan McCormack, email@example.com
CEO, Chesapeake Consulting.